i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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