Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize