I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
