Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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