I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
