im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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