i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Green mimosas i think yes
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
