Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
