I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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