we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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