they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
