so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
