i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
