If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
