ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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