Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb