that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
