Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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