problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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