When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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