I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
