giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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