Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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