just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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