that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
