.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
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They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
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Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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