I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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