I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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