Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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