they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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