i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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