I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
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I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
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I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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