I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize