I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
