Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
