Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
