True but thats because hes a fetus.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
