just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
