I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
