she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
