Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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