Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
