they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
