Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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