I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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