yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
