PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
