8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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