I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
