how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
3pm strippers are depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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