this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
