Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
