I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He passed out mid-signature
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
