Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
