just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
