TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
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just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
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No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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