batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
