How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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