you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
